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Happy New Year!

It's been a while since I've posted something, but I've been battling tough stuff like work and sickness. At least today I can go back to being my normal lazy self and do the things I enjoy like writing and pulling out my Golf clubs.

It's pretty dreary here today, so I am not sure whether I can get some practice time in before I play tomorrow, but I'll give it a try and see what happens.

To kinda recap since I've been gone I took another trip to Orlando to visit friends for New Year's. You would think that I could earn some frequent travel car miles for as much as I go back and forth, but even if I didn't get a dime I would travel for them anyway. Everyone got together to watch the Peach Bowl and rang in the New Year with Dick Clark...err...Regis Philbin. It's just not the same without Dick. (no comment) Good thing I didn't spend the money and go to Club Paris. For that price there definitely would have been some videos on the net made of me and Paris.

New Year's Day was special as my friends threw a nice party and people far and wide (no comment) came over and watched football and general fellowship. It was nice seeing people I haven't talked to in a while and people I had just seen a hours earlier bringing in 2005. Conversations of old times and old cats really made me realize again I am living in the wrong town. These are the people that basically shaped me (no comment) into the person I am today and it's starting to hurt more every time I get in the car to come back here. Granted I love my job here and it affords me the opportunity to come and visit often, but sometimes money isn't everything...it's really about friends and family...and I consider them all my family.

As far as work goes, they are giving me an opportunity to see whether I want my boss' job when he retires at the end of the year. With some of the crap that's been thrown on me I am starting to have my doubts. I don't have a problem with work but I do have a big problem with disorganization. I've been told time and again that I am getting a "matrix" that has my new duties and responsibilities, but to this date I haven't seen squat. It's starting to frustrate me because as soon as this comes to me I am asking for a raise...and a substantial one at that. Right now I am doing the work of almost 3 people so when this "matrix" hits my desk, I'll be ask to cover for 3 more people. It's difficult being Michael sometimes....

Now as far as my personal life goes....it's REALLY difficult being Toker sometimes. I have so many thoughts and things rolling through my head that it's getting hard to get up some mornings. Maybe when my work life gets into a routine I can get my personal shit together. I've decided that trying to have a relationship is just not in the cards at the moment. I would really love to share myself with someone but I am too much of an emotional wreck to let someone in or let myself out. If something happens that's great, but I won't be actively perusing anything. My feelings have been torn between a couple special people. One knows everything and one doesn't know squat. Maybe they are not looking hard enough...maybe I should open my big mouth and say something...but that's ANOTHER story for later.

Maybe a nice massage will bring some clarity to my soul...or maybe a nice strip club.

Anyway, I feel a little better but now I have some carpet stains to get out and time to get on my knees and clean my kitchen floor...these are the times when a partner does wonders...(no comment)