Veteran's Day Thoughts/Confessions

Hi.

I will have to admit...it's been one of the most interesting days I've had in quite some time. So much that I decided to actually blog tonight before I go to sleep.

Today I thought was actually going to start out pretty bad because I woke up and I thought my Internet connection was down (CRAP)...and since I had to pay bills today that was a no-go for Mr. Toker....but after calling Comcast (ugh) I find out it's the router and not the cable....whew, that was one load off my chest.

Then after tons of laundry I decided to go downtown to see the Veteran's Day Parade. I haven't been to one in quite a while but I decided to pay my respects to the people that served our country and the people that gave their lives for me to have a day off. I hung out with a sweet lady friend of mine and her kids and their friend along with a bunch of other people and had an awesome time. I have to admit I totally respect this woman in everything she does and the way she just...is. If I had to describe her it would be hard because there's so many things I could say but If there is a picture of "Southern Belle" in the dictionary it would be her....and I also love that her kids call me Mr. Toker...I get a kick out of that.

Well after lunch, a little bit of work and out to see Marching Chiefs go through rehearsal I decided on the way home to call another friend of mine. I've been meaning to call her for a while, but I'll be honest...I'm not the "talking on the phone" kinda person..but I am getting better. It was just nice to have a conversation with someone where I knew drama wouldn't be brought up, I wouldn't be talking about work and just talk about anything and everything. It was so refreshing to chat and catchup that it didn't seem difficult. I also admit I will talk while I'm driving because when I get home I normally end my call but when I got into the house I really didn't want to leave...and when she had to go I was actually sad to say bye.

It's been hard for me since I broke up with my last GF to really open up and talk to women. Don't get me wrong...I can talk to girls all day if it's about sports, or politics or current events but when I want to let go and just talk about real things that are going on it hasn't been easy. I do have a lot of women friends and I enjoy going out and hanging with all of them but I've been thinking that I want something/someone in my life again. I've tried to be open to a couple people but they really haven't given me the time of day. They may talk a good talk but in the end, it's really kind of shallow and I can tell it's pretty hollow in effort. I make efforts to be available to them but it seems like they turn a deaf ear. But with this person...things just seem...better. I enjoy her company and I actually want to spend time with her...I mean REALLY want spend time with her. I didn't think I would be finding myself interested in her but now I feel like I am (well and probably by the end of this blog she might know it as well...) I have no clue how I truly feel yet or what the future will bring but I know that I've probably been the most happy the past few weeks than I have been in quite sometime and I know I don't want that to end anytime soon. I guess that means I'll be texting someone pretty soon..but not tonight because it's late and I'm tired.

Well now...that was an interesting release. I didn't even think I would even write this out tonight but you know...I actually feel better that I did. I think it's time for me to contemplate sleeping so I better end this and say...

Peace, Love and Thick Blankets...Good night all.