I just noticed that's it's been since November since I've posted on here...so I guess I can say I'm sorry but that would be kinda hollow and shallow. Maybe by writing more I can release a lot of things on my mind, but then again it makes me rehash items I just hate bringing up....what a Catch 22, huh?
Anyway, since I got home early and I don't have any other responsibilities (well actually I do, but I'm not going to do them) I figured I would put fingers to keyboard and catch up.
To say my life has been a whirlwind since November is an understatement. Because of all the things going on personally and professionally I felt like I had to close down my circle of friends and shut down a tad. In the process I know I've probably hurt a lot of people because I haven't shared a lot with you all, but at the time I felt it was best that these problems were my own and everyone didn't need to know. If I did hurt you I am truly sorry and I hope I didn't end our friendship.
During my time away I did reconnect with a person I hadn't seen in a while and we rekindled a friendship that I didn't know I really missed until I saw her again. And during the time we've reconnected I've realized the things that are important and valuable to me. I normally don't post people's names and I won't now but I think she realizes how much of a friend she means to me. She has made me realize that I have a lot to give and I have neglected some things that are important to me, but has also grounded me on family. For that...and you know who you are...thanks sweets.
I've always been a person that's said my life is an open book. Well I think that chapter is over. It doesn't mean I'm not and won't be the same person I am but after spending time with her I've realized I don't have to be that open to be real to myself and my friends. I always thought if I give everything to everyone it would be reciprocated. I've learned that's not totally true...but you know what...its not a bad thing. :)
I'm not going to say you're going to see a new me because that would be lying. I have been and always will be "Toker" but if you want to get to know "Michael" sometime I'm willing to let you in.
The next few months I'm going to do some soul searching and decide if I really want to continue my professional career with the State of Florida. It's going to be interesting for sure because I am at a point in my professional career where I need to decide if I want to be a "lifer". With the current state of Public Employees and budget cuts I don't see things happening and I've actually maxed out where I am, so I either need to stay where I am and hope I won't get cut or go to a new place where I have more of a chance for advancement. Well..we'll see what happens and I will be keeping you posted.
Well I should post this so I can watch NCIS. Now that I've started this again I might invest more time to this. It was good therapy before and I think it will be good therapy again..so until next time...
Peace, Love and Thick Blankets (yes...even when it's 100 degrees!)