Right before I went to bed last night I had a revelation.
If you didn't know I've taken a liking to someone I met a few weeks ago. We hit it of as soon as we met and it's been really fun getting to know her and she learning all my quirks and weirdness. I know she's having some problems with her current boyfriend and at first I was just interested in being friends. It would be nice to go somewhere and have someone different to hang out with and do things I wouldn't do with my other group of friends. But now the feelings are a little more than just wanting to be friends. You just know when something, or someone, special falls at your feet and I think I could have found it.
Here's where the revelation happened...
This feels exactly like the situation I was in with my ex wife. She was unhappy with the marriage and she went looking and she found this really great guy (in her mind) and they fell in love and eventually they married.
I just realized that I am that guy now.
I really care about her and my heart tells me I want to pursue something with her, but my head is telling me I can't wreck a relationship. I know I'm a good catch (of course I'm bragging) and I know what I can give her. I know she's looking for something, but I know she doesn't want to give up on her current situation. I know that she knows there is something between us. It's also tough because we actually kinda work together so there's another conflict as well.
Damn, I hate situations like this.
If I was younger I wouldn't give a shit and I would go for it. But now I am just wrestling with it and just don't know what to do.
But I do know what I am going to do.....
We're still going out to dinner. We're still going to hang out.
I'm still going to be her friend.
Whatever happens, happens.