Sunday, October 3, 2010

Sunday Thoughts


I haven't blogged since May so I figured rather than starting on a normal rant I need to catch everyone up on what's been going on. Hope I don't bore you...

  • Mom and I have been talking and discussing things about her doing a living will and trust. Believe me, this hasn't been easy for me because I always expect my mother to be here for me but the truth is I'm 42 and she's almost 72 so it's bound to happen that there could be an issue where should could come incapacitated or in a condition where I will have to take over the family issues. It's not something I'm looking forward to at all but I knew when I traveled to DC to be with my aunt when she passed away my sister wouldn't step up to the plate and deal with it. Don't get me wrong I love my family more than anything and as being the only man in the family this was something I needed to do it just doesn't seem right for everything that goes on there is always an excuse or she has to be bailed out of something. I have been on my own since I graduated high school. Did I get in trouble in my younger days, of course but I always took care of my responsibilities and never asked for anything I couldn't pay back. I will always love my sister and her family but she's way too old to be dependent on people to do things for her. I don't think she's ever held a real job and sure she's raised kids but those kids are grown so that's not an excuse to not work. My mother has spent her whole life trying to do things for our family, especially her and she's never grateful for what she's done. She has a roof over her head for her children, TV in her house, a phone line but what has been done in repayment? Nothing. Take this as a lesson that PLEASE no matter what you think of your parents they are the people that gave you life and ALWAYS respect this. It's not a difficult thing to just do it. 

  • In regards to work things have been totally busy. We've had a ton of projects that have been interesting to say the least. I would like to think that we're at a point that we can stop doing projects and concentrate on the items we have at hand but that's not the case. Hopefully soon things will calm down and I can concentrate on working on the project I want to do. I've got a pile of Administrative things to take care of but I haven't been able to touch them since the last time I've written. As some of you know, we've had some appearance issue where I work. Some of our current staff are putting the blame on other entities on why their not retained. I don't think it has anything to do with that but more along the lines of not following the law. Where I work we deal with statutes and rules...we don't make the rules, we just enforce them. If a company comes in and wants something and as long as they are within the guideline of the statute/rules they are entitled to a fair hearing and for the most part everything they asked for. We have people that feel that we should "stick it" to the companies that ask for what they want. Are times tough? Sure. Do they deserve everything they are for? Probably not but if someone is asking for say...1 billion I'm a realist knowing they only really deserve 500 million or so. Good people lost their jobs in the past year because they were not political but also other people have lost their jobs because they don't "play the game". In the end...let's just hope the next few months are drama free...

  • Now...personally...what can I say that's happened since May. I think the best way to put it is that I've been stagnant in my life. Spiritually I feel I'm in a better place than I've been in a long time. I've tried to remain positive in my life and in my actions and I feel that it's been paying off dividends but not in the area of relationships. I'll be honest in that right now might not be the best time in the world to be looking for someone or to start a relationship but it's been a while for me and I can actually say I'm starting to get a little lonely. I have a great group of friends, not only here in town but all over the country that give me support beyond what I could think of. In turn I feel like I give of myself whenever I'm needed. I will admit I've dropped the ball on some people and with those people I will "true up" with them but for all the support I give to people sometimes I do feel at those times I really need someone, someone to come over and just "hang" those times aren't being reciprocated. Now that's not going to all my guy friends because they're the best and everytime I'm out I have a blast but as far as women go..not so much. It does make me wonder if it's me. I know I'm that "guy that everyone loves to party with", but am I that person you can date? Maybe I'm just looking at the wrong dating pool? Well, in the next few months I'm going to do some more reflection on this subject. It should make for some interesting blogging... :)

Well I think I've vented/released enough for now. I'll be back to my normal rants soon enough because this weekend has given me enough ideas to last the rest of the year!! 

Anyway thanks for reading. I hope you all have a great week. Oh, and I hope you like the new design. I tried to find something fitting of my mood. 

Peace, Love and Thick Blankets!!

1 comment:

DeAnne said...

Toker - you are one my best friends on this planet. Near or far, recent or a long time ago, you are always there. I know I can trust you, I know that you'll take care of my kids if something happens, and I pray often that you will be blessed with the kind of life and love you dream of and deserve. Even my mother loves you - and she barely likes me! :)