It's been an interesting week to say the least. I'm back from DC with my aunt's belongings and I'm starting to look through everything. I've got pictures to take so my family can decide what they want. I've already decided on a couple items and I've thought about a few pictures that would remind me of her so I think I'll take them out tomorrow and maybe hang them up. I'll post the pictures so you can see as well.
As most of you know through my statuses in Facebook I've reconnected with one of my "little sisters" from FSU. We talk about anything and everything which is refreshing but she also gives me perspective on so much...maybe that comes from Marriage and kids... ;)
While during one of our conversations I was talking about the past, bringing up old relationships and stuff. She made a comment that made me think:
"Unforgiveness only harms the one who has it"
It made me think about a lot of things. A lot of people know I hold my friendships VERY close to me. I may be outgoing but I don't really let too many people into "my world". Way back when I did let someone into my world. Things happened that were wrong on both sides but I always thought that Love would conquer all problems. I was mistaken.
She also asked me the question, "Are you done chasing her?"
After everything that happened, I have never felt I've been chasing her but maybe in some small ways I have been. I've always felt your past shapes your future and that past in some ways hit me really deep. It's not something I think about every day but sometimes I'll be walking at work or I'll be talking to someone on the phone and poof...there goes another bad memory. After this week I know that my past is exactly what it is and I feel that I let myself down a bit for harboring feelings of resentment and anger. They're not worth it. No matter what I say will always be taken the wrong way. I've so wanted to vent and respond to the hurtful things that was said but tonight I've decided...she's not worth it.
I've got so many friends that love me and accept me, faults and all, why do I need to constantly waste my time to make amends with one person. It's not worth it.
Well everyone...Michael is back and I've got an agenda.
I love someone very much and they mean the world to me. I want to be that person for her so she never has to walk alone. If we make it, everyone knows we're going to be AWESOME together and if we don't I know that we're going to be good friends the rest of our lives....well at least that's what I think..and that's all that matters, right?
Peace, Love and Thick Blankets..and Thick Blankets have been needed this week!