Thursday, December 1, 2005

I am so tired


When I last wrote in my blog I was talking about how sick my brother was and I was on my way to Orlando and the Beer Festival. The Beer Festival sucked ass. The lines were long and my friends that drove from Sebring to drink with the group wasn't allowed to buy tickets because they were sold out...How can you be sold out of an open-air festival?? The lines were terrible because they changed the way people got their beer. You basically waited through line to go through the tent for all the beers rather than line up in front of the beer you wanted. We didn't even stay the entire evening. At least we got a chance to spend good times with my friends and drink SOME beer. Guess I won't be doing the festival anymore.

Got a call early Sunday morning in Orlando from Mom and she told me that my brother had gotten worse, so K and I got up and drove back to Tampa to take her home. I stayed a while to nap and recharge with some food and I was off to Tally to sleep a little more and then I drove to Pensacola. Once I got there I found out how bad things really were.

The tumors that were on his leg were massive. Honestly, I can't even describe them. This was my first time seeing someone in this much pain and it brought me to tears. When they changed the dressing on the tumors he cried and screamed and said he wanted to go home. I stayed at the hospital with him and my mother and my uncle for a couple days and he did get a little better while I was there. We spoke to the specialists and they offered amputation of his leg. Since he's autistic we thought that he wouldn't be able to handle the surgery and he would get worse faster. I left to drive back to Tallahassee and mom called to let me know they were going to let him go home. I asked if I needed to go home, but she said that everything was fine and I could wait to come home for Thanksgiving.

I drove home Thanksgiving day and had a great time spending it with family. I went over to my uncle's place to check and see how Tony was doing. Since he couldn't stay in a normal bed anymore, Hospice brought us a hospital bed and they had a nurse coming over to check on him. I spent time with him and he was not well at all. He could speak a little bit, but his voice was so weak. Friday night I drove back to Tally to work on my house and get some other things done. I told him that I would see him on Christmas.

Saturday was pretty normal. I got ready to watch us get whipped by Florida (that's for another blog) I got a phone call. It had my niece's cell number on the ID. I knew it wasn't good. They didn't say anything, but told me if I could come home tomorrow. I knew he was probably gone, but I was in no condition to drive home since I had been drinking. I went to bed, woke up Sunday morning and hopped in the car and drove over. I got home to mom's and everyone was silent. Mom was in the bathroom and when my sister came and hugged me I knew that he was gone. Mom told me that he was asking to go home. She stayed with him and when she got up to go to the bathroom he took his last breath and that was it.

It's been really hard on all of us, but I am really happy that he is in a better place now and he's not in anymore pain. He was many things. Even though he was autistic he was very smart and very talented. The hodgkins took him from us, but God has him and I am sure he's putting him to work as I type. I wasn't as close to him as I should have been, but I loved him very much.

Life is very short. Live everyday as if it was your last.

Tyrone Collins

I love you.

1 comment:

Radmila said...

How sad.
I'm sorry to hear how sick your brother was, and how much he suffered.
Condolences to you and your family.